There’s no kvelling over picture-perfect golden-yolked eggs with better provenance than your nearest relation.  Nor is savoring the artisanal loaves of buttered toast likely,  because there are none.  And no need to fret whether the bacon is nitrate free because it most assuredly isn’t. Instead, breakfast at Marcy’s Diner on a weekend or weekday morning (the earlier the better because you don’t want to wait) is a no-frills culinary epic where hash is slung with style and the crispiest hash browns around come from a Sysco container of pre-grated potatoes. (Oh but what she does to  make them regal is the queen’s magic touch.)

Darla Neugebauer, the Free Street entrance and outside signpost

Darla Neugebauer, the Free Street entrance and outside signpost

Darla Neugebauer is the queen of the flat top.  And if you call your meal brunch to Darla’s face on a weekend morning she may ask you to leave.  This is the place where crying babies are verboten (see  link for last year’s debacle).  This is the palace of the greasy spoon breakfast so good you’re ready to platz or maybe reach for the antacid an hour or two later.

Marcy's Diner Sunday breakfast bunch

Marcy’s Diner Sunday breakfast bunch

But at that moment there’s nothing better than the food served at what is nearly Portland’s lone surviving hash house. No doubt there are fancier menus around town–and Becky’s in its better moments is a contender– but if you want to get down and dirty and feel utterly sated this is the place to be.

Darla's signature pancakes, French toast and sausage gravy; some people get it all on one plate!

Darla’s signature pancakes, French toast and sausage gravy; some people get it all on one plate!

This Sunday the plate-size pancakes were rippling with raspberries and as light as levitation itself.  This was the most popular breakfast order of the morning as the griddle that’s reserved for  pancakes only was nonstop sizzle.  And watching Darla flip those humongous flapjacks is a thing of beauty.

I ordered the morning’s special: For six bucks 2 eggs over easy, hash browns, Canadian bacon and Texas toast.  The eggs were cooked just right over so easy  the yolk-side up held a filmy face until you put your fork into the middle to release a lava flow of running yolks that sauced everything in its path.  I requested extra crispy hash browns: ask for it because it’s worth getting it extra crunchy as it’s cooked longer on the well-greased flat top, turned over and over until the right shade and texture of crispy brown is achieved.

Breakfast special: 2 eggs, Canadian bacon, Texas toast and hash browns

Breakfast special: 2 eggs, Canadian bacon, Texas toast and hash browns

The Canadian bacon was standard issue probably from Hormel and the thick slabs of Texas toast hailed from Country Kitchen, the big commercial bread baker.

Then there’s Darla’s famous hash.  But beware: Darla makes two kinds of hash.  One is from a can  and the other that’s listed as a blackboard special of “homemade hash is the real McCoy.” This entails an all-day process to get those chunks of corned beef just right with Darla’s seal of approval.